Heated exchange
CONIFER – What with winter in full swing, Homeowner bethought to have his furnace cleaned and, on Jan. 20, called in a licensed and bonded furnace cleaning professional. Professional gave Homeowner’s furnace a good once-over and declared it inadequate, saying that “at this altitude” Homeowner required a furnace capable of cranking out “a minimum of 100,000 BTUs.” Not crazy about the expense, but feeling unqualified to gainsay an expert, Homeowner agreed to have Professional install a brand-new 108,000 BTU furnace. Professional completed the work on Jan. 21 and granted Homeowner a small discount in return for payment in cash. Belatedly researching Professional’s online credentials, Homeowner was chagrined to find numerous poor reviews. Belatedly scrutinizing his new furnace, he was dismayed to discover it rated at a mere 90,000 BTUs and quickly pointed out the mathematical disparity to Professional. “I didn’t know it was the wrong model,” Professional professed. Asked to rectify the mistake, Professional told Homeowner that the originally promised 108,000 BTU furnace was, in fact, “to big for the space.” Asked for a full refund, Professional told Homeowner that while he was agreeable in principle, “I no longer have the money.” After notifying the FTC and the Colorado AG, Homeowner called JCSO and asked deputies to charge Professional with fraud. Although sympathetic, officers referred Homeowner to the civil courts.
Twisted sisters
EVERGREEN – As dutiful parents, Mr. and Mrs. Olsen were upset. Mary Kate and Ashley had been running with a fast crowd, seemingly, occasionally coming home smelling of the barroom floor. The Olsens had a “serious discussion” with the girls about the potentially serious consequences strong drink can have for dewy-eyed young innocents like themselves. Alas, the lecture only reached half of its target audience, and a few nights later Mary Kate marched into the living room and presented her parents with Ashley’s cell phone, strategically dialed to display an incriminating exchange of alcohol-related texts between Ashley and her drinking buddies. Ashley thought Mary Kate’s betrayal an intolerable violation of the sisterly code and lunged for the phone. Mary Kate refused to surrender the evidence, pushing Ashley backward “by her face.” Momentarily confounded, Ashley moved to deposit her “chewing gum” in the waste basket behind Mary Kate, but Mary Kate once again stood her ground, refusing her sister access to the receptacle. Not to be denied a second time, Ashley physically threw Mary Kate aside. Recovering quickly, Mary Kate leapt upon Ashley like a wildcat. Deciding enough was enough, Mr. and Mrs. Olsen phoned JCSO, then separated their scrapping daughters and sat them down for another round of meaningful dialogue. Arriving deputies were informed of precipitating events, but assured that all was now sugar and spice.
Back door man
EVERGREEN – On other days, store employees have described the affable young fellow as “chatty.” On the morning of Jan. 30, they described him to JCSO deputies as cagey. It seems the semi-regular patron had parked his license plate-less pickup at the curb in front of the store and left it running for the entire hour he spent inside. Grabbing a “flat bed” cart, he’d wheeled his way over to the shoe department where he casually tried on a selection of boots and loafers, some of which he briefly wore outside during frequent visits to his idling truck before stacking them on the cart. Already suspicious, employees went to Orange Alert when Cagey parked his footwear-filled flat bed near the store’s personnel-only rear exit, and then went outside and backed his truck onto a grassy area adjacent that door. For whatever reason, Cagey eventually drove away without trying to up-load the loot, but employees had little doubt he’d been setting up for a swindle and asked deputies to document the miscarried misdeed.