Bad gr-attitude
CONIFER — Xena and her children needed a place to stay, so Gabrielle and her own young’uns opened up their hearts and hearth to the footloose family until such times as they could secure a roof of their own. It was a cozy arrangement that fell to flinders on Jan. 18 when Xena “ran into” Gabrielle’s “fence and door.” When Gabrielle tried to discuss repairing the destructed constructions, she was warned that if she didn’t “back off” Xena would surely “burn down your house with your children inside.” No longer feeling the love, Gabrielle obtained a temporary restraining order and eviction forms from the county. Perhaps feeling the cold wind of exile on her neck, Xena made herself suddenly and persistently scarce, giving Gabrielle no opportunity to “serve the proper paperwork.” Increasingly frustrated, Gabrielle asked JCSO for advice regarding the fastest way to get Xena and Co. back on the street. Deputies advised her to give them the high-sign the next time she had Xena in her sights, and they’d see her suitably served.
Camera shy
SOUTH TURKEY CREEK — The home-surveillance footage filled him with foreboding. Captured mid-morning on Jan. 14, it showed a red Jeep Cherokee pulling into his driveway. The vehicle stops well short of the house, and the driver steps out. Moments later the driver gets back into the red Jeep Cherokee, backs out of the driveway and motors away. He showed the tape to JCSO, but distance and problematic lighting made it impossible for deputies to determine the Jeep’s license plate number or the number of people inside it. In view of recent package thefts in the neighborhood, he believed the momentary trespasser was up to no good and was, thankfully, dissuaded from his dastardly doings by the sight of security cameras above the garage. With precious little upon which to build a case, officers arranged to receive still images of the presumptive parcel pirate and called it a wrap.
Where there’s smoke …
EVERGREEN — When their house was damaged by fire, Mr. and Mrs. Malamute engaged a restoration crew and checked into a hotel. Since their mailbox was spared by the conflagration, it only made sense to continue receiving their mail where they always have. Although in perfect working condition, however, the mailbox never seems to have any mail in it, and the couple began to suspect theft. When a neighbor called them at their temporary digs on Jan. 23 with some highly suggestive observations, Mister and Missus passed them along to JCSO. According to the neighbor’s intelligence report, most days during “the past couple weeks,” a “newer, dark-colored SUV” has been parking in front of the Malamutes’ mailbox “for about five minutes” each evening and then departing “down the hill.” As the neighbor provided no specific identifying information about the suspicious SUV, deputies could only schedule additional patrols of the area in hopes of pegging the possible perp at his perplexing postal post.
Plower mad
EVERGREEN — Chauncey McCountryclub had a bone to pick. “Who’s in charge here?” he barked, shouldering unannounced into the plainly marked “Authorized Personnel Only” area of the Lewis Ridge Road county shops on the evening of Jan. 11. Chauncey was mad as hops because county snowplows, in the course of clearing his neighborhood streets, pushed some snow into the mouth of his driveway. Chauncey yelled and blustered and threatened to notify the county “board of directors,” presumably meaning the commissioners. The snow boss on duty, who’d fielded other Chauncey grievances in the past, explained that the shop supervisor had gone home for the day, and Chauncey’s best bet would be to schedule an appointment when he might detail his dissatisfactions at comfortable length. Described by one interested observer as having “a bullying personality,” Chauncey was not pleased to be put off, but at least he went away, giving the snow boss a chance to ask JCSO deputies to warn Chauncey against any more ambush beef sessions. Thusly advised, Chauncey told deputies he’d merely wanted to share with the supervisor all the great ideas he had for different ways that county plows could keep snow out of his driveway. Far from being confrontational, Chauncey said, grandly, he’d even offered to take the whole crew “out for a beer.” Officers thought that was aces, but still told Chauncey to make an appointment next time, or he’d be tagged for trespassing.