I guess I’ve been writing this column long enough to have
faithful readers out there.
If you’ve been a faithful reader, you know how I feel about
psychotherapy.
I believe everyone and his sister, brother, mother, father,
aunt, uncle and more can benefit from obtaining
therapy at least a few times throughout life. I’ve got my own
therapist, Laura.
Depending on how I’m doing, I pay to unload my problems on her
two to four times a month.
That way I can feel a bit more confident my own baggage isn’t
getting in the way of helping others in my capacity as a
therapist.
Therapists are people who (I hope) help us improve ourselves in
all areas of our lives. When it’s the right match, therapists
assist in finding our own forgotten, misplaced or undiscovered
strengths and coping skills.
It seems a majority of individuals wait for some sort of a
crisis before beginning to think about obtaining a
therapist.
Many of us don’t realize we’ve got a choice in the matter when
it comes to finding a therapist who fits with our family or
ourselves.
In fact, research on effective therapy overwhelmingly indicates
a good connection, or relationship, between therapist and client is
the No. 1 indicator of whether that therapy will be effective or
not.
We all know from firsthand experience that we either click or we
don’t with different types of people.
Since therapists are people too (contrary to popular belief),
the same principle holds true.
You will accomplish more in therapy if you and your therapist
click.
If you can imagine hanging out with the person in your free
time, as you would a friend, it will probably be a good
match.
Of course, a good therapist would probably not hang out with you
during your free time because it would be a blurring of roles and
ethics.
Whether you are in the midst of a difficult time or are looking
for someone with whom you can build a relationship to assist with
future life transitions, the following is a list of tips designed
to make the search a little easier.
* Spend time interviewing potential candidates over the
phone.
Even if you get names from your insurance provider or the phone
book, time spent talking to candidates first will be worth it in
the long run.
Think of it as an interview. Find out what experience he or she
has, how he or she approaches therapy, how he or she treats you in
a phone conversation.
* Pay attention to your instincts about whether you and this
person can relate.
For instance, if you have an excellent sense of humor, you are
looking for someone who can laugh with you.
Remember, this is a person with whom you will need to feel
extremely comfortable. If things go well, you will be honestly
sharing your life with them.
n Keep in mind who will be getting the therapy.
For example, if you relate well with a potential candidate but
your daughter will be the one receiving most of the treatment,
don’t force her to see someone who is totally uncool in her
estimation.
Don’t forget that relationship between therapist and client is
the key.
* Seek out word of mouth, especially from people who know
you.
If word is getting around that so-and-so is an excellent,
helpful and down-to-earth therapist, chances are he or she will
make a good candidate.
This is especially true if the person making the recommendation
knows you well.
If you don’t have word of mouth from friends or relatives
available, recommendations from other community professionals, such
as a trusted Pastor, can also be helpful.
* Seek therapists within a certain specialty when
necessary.
If you are looking for a good family therapist to help deal with
a substance abusing member, you will want to look for someone who
has experience in family therapy and substance abuse
issues.
If your teen is struggling with eating disorder symptoms, you
will want to find a good therapist who works in this
area.
Otherwise, it’s kind of like going to a podiatrist to get an eye
exam.
* If your funding source will allow it, try a few trial sessions
with your chosen therapist.
That way, you have actual face-to-face experience on which to
base this very important decision.
Alyce Duckworth is a licensed clinical social worker for
Arapahoe/ Douglas Mental Health Network. Call 303-730-8858 or visit
www.admhn.org