Gina Moore came into her job as the president of the National Alliance on Mental Illness of Arapahoe/Douglas Counties with more personal knowledge than she wanted.
“My son got sick pretty quickly and pretty dramatically in eighth grade,” she said.
He had always shown signs of anxiety, but then he got really depressed and started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. One day she came home and he’d organized the refrigerator and alphabetized all the spices in the kitchen. Then she realized he was cutting himself.
“All these things were happening, but I wasn’t putting it all together,” she said. “The last thing you would think of is mental illness, especially if you don’t have it in the family. You might think drugs, you might think alcohol, but you don’t think this is emerging mental illness.”
In fact, it wasn’t until her son learned about depression in health class and got concerned himself that they went to the doctor and eventually ended up with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
“You’re reeling, your whole world has changed, and it’s never going to be the same again,” she said.
With the recent spate of suicides and murders committed by young men in the south-metro area, NAMI is working hard to get the word out so that more of those stories can have better outcomes, as Moore’s son’s has.
“We can provide so much support to families,” she said. “The more education and support they have, the better able they’re going to be to help their loved ones.”
NAMI offers free classes and support to people with disorders ranging from major depression to schizophrenia to post-traumatic stress. Loved ones are encouraged to participate, in particular through a 12-week class called Family to Family.
Topics covered include how to find resources, how to deal with law enforcement should that become necessary, current research, communication skills and self-care, among many more.
Moore’s personal feeling is that everyone should know as much about mental-health care as they do about basic first aid, to bring the subject out of hiding.
“We realize there is a lot of stigma, and stigma gets in the way of getting help,” she said. “These are biological disorders like diabetes, like cancer. I think what makes people so scared of it is that the behavior is strange. A lot of mental illness is not visible, they’re not in wheelchairs or casts. You just have to be nice to people, because you don’t know what kind of cross they are carrying.”
Her own son went through a phase when he wasn’t hanging out with his usual group of friends, and now she wonders if it was because his behavior was changing, if he had become the “weird kid,” as so many with mental illness do.
“The other kids think, `That kid is a troublemaker, the weird one, that kid is a jerk,’ ” she said. “They don’t stop to think that it might not be intentional. … They might get fidgety, or withdraw, or become overly talkative or do both of those things within minutes of each other.”
NAMI Arapahoe/Douglas is working on a program that would let young people who are dealing with mental illness share their experiences in area schools.
“It would bring someone into the classrooms who looks just like them,” she said.
It can be hard for loved ones to know when to reach out for help, she acknowledges, because who’s to say when the line is crossed on the continuum of normal?
“When it gets to the point when it seems outside of the range, or it goes on too long,” she said. “As a parent, you would know your kid and maybe know when it’s gone over a line.”
After her son’s diagnosis, she found NAMI when she realized she needed help with how to go forward.
“My son just hated it, because I kept checking on him,” she said. “I treated him like a baby, and sometimes it made it worse.”
She says she’s gained a sense of empathy along their journey, and hopes her story will help other parents be more aware of when and how to get help for troubled kids.
“It’s so hard to find resources, and a lot of people fall through the cracks,” she said.
For more information, visit www.namiadco.org or call 303-991-7688.