Have you ever noticed that during a compelling interview on TV, the kind that really captures our attention, the person conducting the interview actually listens way more than they talk?

Anderson Cooper, Barbara Walters, Dan Rather, Oprah Winfrey and other journalists all have this tremendous gift for getting people to talk and share their stories. I mean, basically these folks have a great gig right? They get paid to combine their personalities with fantastic questioning skills.

And the things that they get people to reveal are truly incredible, including life stories, tragedies, victories, heartaches, dysfunction and achievement. And all they did was ask questions that were relevant and connected to previous questions.

Many times I find myself in the role of an interview coach. People looking for their next career move invite me to review their resume and help them prepare for their actual interview. One of the first places I begin my coaching session is with this concept of questioning.

Now, you may say to yourself that I am just pointing out the obvious; of course the interview is all about questioning. But who is doing the questioning? If the hiring manager, recruiter or interviewer is the one doing all of the questioning, guess what? The interviewee loses.

I pointed out that during those riveting television interviews, the interviewer has the capability to get the other person to expose truths and other information not previously known — or maybe it was known or assumed, but the interviewer gets the person to validate or dispel the rumors.

The same holds true when you are interviewing for a new position. Take the time to prepare a list of questions to ask the person interviewing you. Make sure the questions are researched and logical, and that you can connect them as necessary during the interview.

You see, most people believe they have to sell themselves in an interview. This is true, however, it is the technique you use that will sell the potential employer more than any talk track that is used to brag or boast about yourself. We do much better when we remember that selling is not telling. Anyone can tell other people about themselves and all the things they have supposedly accomplished. But the game becomes so much more interesting when the interviewee becomes the interviewer.

Why is this position available now? How have you defined success for this role in the past? Can you provide an example of how someone has succeeded in this job function before? What elements of my resume do you believe matched what you are looking for? I can see on your website that the company just acquired one of your competitors; how will that impact this team or department?

These are just examples of questions to ask a potential employer, but I am sure you get the message. You will be amazed at just how much information they will share with you. They will expose truths, losses, achievements, opportunities and so much more. All you have to do is ask.

Additionally, when you learn to make the conversation about them and their company, you will actually notice how much more are interested they are in you.

If you have been in search of a new opportunity and the interviews are just not going your way, try something new and start interviewing the interviewer. I will bet you may have a different outcome next time. You still have to find the right time to share your story, telling more about your qualifications and experience. That spot will become natural and obvious during the interview; just don’t jump to it. Remember we have two ears and one mouth, and we need to use them proportionally, so ask questions and listen twice as much as you talk.

I would love to hear all about any times you remember when you had an opportunity to interview the interviewer and what the results were at gotonorton@gmail.com. Let’s make this another better-than-good week.

Michael Norton, a resident of Highlands Ranch, is the former President of the Zig Ziglar organization and CEO and Founder of www.candogo.com