Sedalia resident Margaret Rhyne has special plans for Mother’s
Day, to honor a daughter whose passing took a piece of her
soul.
This year marks the fifth Mother’s Day Rhyne has spent without
the presence of a daughter who never spoke a single word but whose
life defined her mother’s world for 29 years.
Alexis was born on July 25, 1975, and appeared to be a normal
baby. Rhyne soon reported to doctors that something wasn’t right
with her infant daughter.
By December of that year, a neurologist confirmed Alexis was
experiencing seizures because of a condition that was never
diagnosed.
Alexis would never walk, talk, sit or feed herself. Her physical
body would never be larger than that of a 6-year-old child and she
would never be able to tell her mother, “I love you.”
But Alexis became the catalyst to guide Rhyne through a lifetime
journey that was enhanced, rather than interrupted, by a daughter’s
handicap.
That journey is chronicled in “Remembering Alexis,” a memoir
dedicated to a child who led nearly every life choice Rhyne ever
made.
Beginning with the words, “Death brings reflection,” Rhyne tells
a story that includes life as a single mother to two daughters,
careers in teaching and public relations and four marriages.
Rhyne shares her years with Alexis with a raw honesty that
proved at once painful and cathartic. The reader is immersed in the
struggles of a mother who questions her right to happiness at the
same time she seeks normalcy for her family of three.
Writing the book was a journey in itself, consuming most of her
energy as she faced the reality of her daughter’s death and the
unexpected joys of her difficult life.
“Writing the book was the end of the hard part,” Rhyne said. “To
write the book I had to wait for myself to heal.”
Healing has come in the four years since Alexis’s death in
January 2005, an unexpected but inevitable event that happened
quietly over night. Alexis died when Rhyne and her husband David
were in the process of refurbishing a Depression-era Sears
catalogue house on their Sedalia property.
The house was meant to be a caretaker’s residence for Alexis,
where she could live near her mother. With the marriage of her
second daughter and a desire to be more available to her growing
family, Rhyne wanted more flexibility but couldn’t bring herself to
put Alexis in residential placement.
As she struggled with the reality her daughter would never see
the finished product, Rhyne made the choice to move ahead with
restoration of the house. Today, Alexis’ House is a
beautifully-restored structure which greets visitors to the Rhyne
property southwest of Castle Rock.
For Rhyne, the house symbolizes a message of hope and humility,
dual lessons she learned as Alexis’ mother. Rhyne has opened the
house for public events and was pleased when its walls recently
welcomed a teen grief group from the Douglas County High School
counseling department.
Rhyne prepares to celebrate the release of her book with a book
signing May 9 at Village Books in Castle Pines and on Mother’s Day,
May 10, opens Alexis’ House for public tours. Visitors are welcome
to bring fresh offerings to add to Alexis’ garden, a shady enclave
in the front yard.
Rhyne hopes the garden blossoms for years as she shares her
daughter’s legacy and prepares for the remainder of “the ride” as
she comes to terms with losing her special child. Among those terms
is the realization that her search for happiness was probably in
her hands the entire time.
“I’ve climbed Mount Kilamanjaro, swam in the Caribbean and had a
wonderful gift with Alexis,” Rhyne said. “By the time I die, I want
to feel like I’m sliding into third base. I thought recently if I
were to come back and have a second chance, what would I want that
I didn’t have in this life? Not a darn thing. It was a shock.”
The book signing for “Remembering Alexis” is from 1 to 3 p.m.,
May 9, at Village Books, #115, 858 Happy Canyon Road in Castle
Rock. The book is also available online at www.rememberingalexis.com.
The open house at Alexis’ House is from noon to 4 p.m., Mother’s
Day, May 10, at 901 Allis Ranch Road in Sedalia.