– Angelo Patri
You probably don’t recognize the name Angelo Patri. However, you
would if you were raising a child in the 1920s and ’30s, especially
if you were a father.
By By: Rich Batten
“The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must
turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the
fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching
step by step over the same old road.”
– Angelo Patri
You probably don’t recognize the name Angelo Patri. However, you
would if you were raising a child in the 1920s and ’30s, especially
if you were a father.
Patri was an Italian-born educator, principal of a New York City
junior high school, and author of a nationally circulated newspaper
advice column on child rearing. Interestingly, many of the letters
he received requesting child-rearing advice were from
fathers.
We often think of the fathers of the ’20s and ’30s in terms of
providers, yet many of them sought to effectively juggle roles
similar to today’s dads; provider, guide, household help and
nurturer.
Research has consistently demonstrated that fathers, whether
they live with their children, matter.
Michael Lamb, head of the section on social and emotional
development at the National Institute of Child Health and Human
Development, summarizes the research by saying that, “Whether the
outcome variable is cognitive development, sex-role development, or
psycho-social development, children are better off when their
relationship with their father is close and warm.”
Because of my passion to help fathers and their children connect
in lasting meaningful relationships, I have sought to establish the
Douglas County FatherWork Connection, a countywide, research-based,
fathering education and advocacy initiative committed to increasing
the probability of every child in Douglas County being intimately
connected to an involved, responsible and loving father or father
figure.
The initiative has taken the form of a monthly e-mail
newsletter, fathering education classes and programs such as FRED,
or Fathers Reading Every Day. There is much more that can be done
and should be done.
I welcome interested men, women and children who would like to
participate in the development of the initiative to contact
me.
Several new learning opportunities that will appear in the
coming month include a course for new dads and their infants, a
class for wives to gain insights on how to help their husbands
succeed as fathers and a class for dads of daughters between the
ages of 10 and 15.
New dads
For most men, first-time fatherhood involves significant changes
in their self-identity and their relationship with their partner.
One Australian study discovered that almost all the men interviewed
found the early weeks and months of fatherhood more uncomfortable
than rewarding, despite looking forward to fatherhood very
positively.
In a longitudinal study of newlyweds, the Relationship Research
Institute discovered that two-thirds of couples experience a
serious drop in their relationship’s happiness in the three years
after the first baby arrives.
The transition to parenthood, while it is filled with great joy,
also presents couples with myriad changes, many of which are
approached differently by men and women.
Most hospitals prepare couples for only one day in the baby’s
life, the day of delivery. Working with both Parker Adventist
Hospital and Sky Ridge Medical Center, I will begin offering
four-session courses designed to help men successfully make the
transition to fatherhood.
The first of these courses will be offered by Parker Adventist
Hospital under the title, “Fathers Fraternity.” Session topics
include “Becoming A Father,” Jan. 12 (dads only); “Connecting With
Your Infant,” Feb. 17 (dads and infants); “Changes And Challenges,”
March 2 (dads and infants); and “Parenting Together,” March 16
(dads, moms and infants).
All classes are from 7-8 p.m. Register in advance by calling
(303) 269-4390.
For moms
Psychologist and author Frank Pittman has said, “… in the end,
there is nothing a man can do that a woman can’t, except be a
father.” Nevertheless, there is much that a woman can do to help
her husband succeed as a father.
This will be the topic of discussion at the Parent University
class, “For Women Only: Insight To Help Your Husband Become An Even
Better Father,” from 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jan. 20, at Pine Grove
Elementary School in Parker.
Dads and daughters
There’s a special connection between fathers and daughters.
Fathers can have a significant impact on their daughters’
self-esteem, identity and values.
Back by popular demand, the Parent University class, “Dads and
Daughters,” for dads of daughters between ages 10 and 15, will be
from 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jan. 27, at Ranch View Middle School in
Highlands Ranch.
Call (303) 387-0128 to register for Parent University
classes.
For quick help on becoming the kind of dad your child needs you
to be, subscribe to the monthly e-mail newsletter, “Fastbreak for
Fathers,” by sending an e-mail to
fatherwork@douglas.co.us.
To learn more about The Douglas County FatherWork Connection,
contact me at fatherwork@douglas.co.us or (720) 733-6926.
Rich Batten is a father of four, a certified family life
educator and the family and consumer science agent for the Colorado
State University Cooperative Extension Office in Douglas
County.